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04-Mar-2018 20:08 by 5 Comments

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Harbor Springs, a tiny resort town in northern Michigan that serves as the summertime playground of the wealthy, famous, and sometimes infamous.

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Lily Allen announced over Christmas she was set to marry boyfriend Sam Cooper, Sarah Harding revealed she is set to marry boyfriend Tom Crane in the New Year, Emma Bunton announced her engagement to Jade Jones live during Dancing On Ice, and Kate Moss got engaged to musician Jamie Hince last week.

Probably my favorite femme fatale representation in media is the song of the same name by Nico and The Velvet Underground.

It appeals to my folksy-flower child sensibilities while also singing about my favorite female archetype.

Type “femme fatale” into Google Images and she’s among the first women who pop up.

In real life she may actually be a fairly shy, private person, but on screen she can seduce whole audiences with just one look.

I’ve had a month to work on these things and while I haven’t accomplished squat, it’s the spirit of the experiment that counts. Well, my kid is a fur ball who just wants belly rubs and at this point I’m so broke I’m my own charity case. Between poor health, crippling depressing and overall entitled laziness, I’ve yet to accomplish this particular goal. This one I haven’t been too terrible with actually. I’ve even been getting back into yoga to help me stretch for more walking/death jogging and to alleviate some anxiety. For someone with as many health issues as I have, I eat like total shit sometimes. I’m a notorious stress eater and going back to that entitlement bullshit I can justify any reason to have ice cream. I’m three days in, I’ve had nothing but chicken and the most basic carbs, and I would sell my first born for a piece of chocolate!

I wanted to wait to post about my New Year’s resolutions until February in true She-Hulk style. Some people resolve to spend more time with their kids, or do more volunteer work. As stated above, I’m trying to exercise but I also need to be eating better. As a stress eater and someone with both Crohn’s and IBS (lucky me! After the holidays, visits from both my siblings and my own self imposed hysteria, my gut has taken quite the beating. I’m trying a somewhat modified version of a low FODMAP diet.So instead of looking outward to better my community and all that bullshit, this year I’m going to try to actually improve myself. This one has to be number one or I won’t be making my loan or insurance payments next month! I try to walk the aforementioned fur ball every other day and started attempting to job for at least part of those walks. In the past, I’ve toyed with the idea of dieting and lasted all of five minutes before eating a brownie. Who has two thumbs, speaks limited French, and was dumb enough to give up chocolate the week of Valentine’s Day? It’s a sad sad day when your period and Valentine’s fall on the same week… Figure Out What/Who the Fuck I Want and Stop Dating Fucktards!As a self proclaimed human disaster this gives me plenty of material to work with. I’m a horribly indecisive person and basically just a giant, petulant baby. So that’s my list of selfish New Year’s resolutions.I’m doing pretty well exercising, but not as much as I should. I have zero discipline and no willpower when it comes to junk food. It’s time to stop crying over douche bags; especially when I know he hasn’t spared one thought towards me except for maybe “I wonder if I can still get her to cook for me? ” Time to find someone who will care for me as much as I do for them. I’m still in my golden year and I hope 2015 is kind to me and mine. I think it’s pretty clear by the name of my blog that I have a fascination with femme fatales, probably because they’re about as far from my own personality as one could possibly get.In the coming months I really need to be more consistent about it. Chips and chocolate have always been there for me but we have to break up. I wish everyone luck in this new year and especially myself. Apologies for no funny pictures in this very long post. I’ve always fantasized about being this cold-hearted seductress, all sexy and mysterious; not klutzy and awkward, with a habit of over sharing in very public forums such as a blog…As an avid stalker of Neil Gaiman on Facebook, I was delighted when he shared a video by two French singers doing an absolutely gorgeous cover of the song.

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