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They can be easy to conceal, as long as the cheating partner deletes the Web browser history and any incriminating e-mails.“It’s really difficult to track what your partner is doing,” Hertlein says.
“Your primary partner will never be able to compare with the fantasy partner,” Hertlein says.“It starts in the home, which is very different than most affairs.It starts right under your roof,” says Elaine Ducharme, Ph D, a psychologist in Glastonbury, Conn., who specializes in cybersex addictions.“But the other partner often feels such an emotional betrayal that they are going through the same feelings as if their partner was having a real affair.” Online affairs can contribute to divorce and child custody fights as the involved partner becomes more enmeshed in the online relationship. Almost two-thirds of the participants in one study reported they had met and had sex with their Internet partners; only 44 percent of them reported using condoms.Several studies have focused on the “AAA engine” that drives online affairs, namely accessibility, affordability and anonymity.“The Internet is extremely accessible no matter where you are,” Hertlein says.
“You could be at home or at work or sitting on the couch with your partner chatting to someone online.” As costs for Internet access have dropped, online affairs are also very affordable.“The Internet is opening up these new ways of exploring your sexuality and that includes infidelity,” she says.Americans now spend as much time online as they do watching TV — about 13 hours a week.“That is starting to even out in part because of the equality of opportunity that the Internet brings to everybody,” she says.While men traditionally have been the more unfaithful sex, gender roles are reversing in some cases as more women experience cybersex.“There aren’t receipts for hotels or dinners or excursions.” With the faceless nature of the Internet, anonymity also is easy to come by.