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04-Feb-2018 23:17 by 6 Comments

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As a guy looking to meet Japanese girls who are looking to meet foreign guys though, your best bets are what are called “International Parties” and “Language Exchanges”.“International Parties” are parties organized specifically to bring foreigners and Japanese folk together and give everyone the opportunity to meet and interact in a safer environment than clubs or bars provide, and are much more relaxed events that are usually held on Friday or Saturday evenings, with some events earlier in the afternoon.

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Fear not, scratch your head in bewilderment no longer – as myself, Grace (famous for her “My Japanese Husband Thinks I’m Crazy” story) and Martin of Asian Dating Monthly have put our heads together and distilled our combined two decades of Japanese dating experience to bring you these top tips, which will help you navigate the seas of romance in Japan.

Of course you often won’t know the answer, but always be prepared for the “dotakyan” or last minute cancellation, especially on first dates. Grace Says: If you’re a woman, you might have to suggest the first date.

Martin says: There’s a trick question I often tell my (dating) clients: Q: When do you know if a Japanese girl will go on a date with you? Men assume foreign women are more outgoing and direct (which sucks when you aren’t).

Japanese are especially uncomfortable with really assertive styles of communication and easily feel bullied, so will often seem to be saying “yes” even when they mean no.

You’ll commonly notice this with service staff who despite the rigidness of most Japanese systems rarely give you a hard “no” to any request.

In general I’m always reluctant to recommend online dating to males (the statistical chances of success are usually terrible for males), however there’s a few Japan focused dating sites where the “interracial appeal” may balance the odds a little, and of course there’s Tinder app for some quick swipe action. “English Lessons.” Websites like Hello Sensei (etc) let you teach English by offering lessons under the table. About ⅔ of the men I “teach” English to don’t ask for a second lesson once they find out I’m married. As a result, a lot of times their communication can be unclear or vague.

Two other friends started dating guys they met at English lessons. And in fact, this vagueness, or “aimai” in Japanese, is a well-studied trait in Japanese communication which is designed to be somewhat ambiguous to preserve the “wa” or harmony.At the same time, like folks in most other developed countries, Japanese people have been inundated with media from America and are avid travelers.They are equally interested in Europe, and other parts of Asia like Taiwan, Thailand and Korea.However, often times that’s because you mis-read her yes as a no.This tendency is often infuriating for newcomers to Japan but with time, you’ll work it out.You never know how big the language barrier is, and where exactly the gaps in vocabulary and grammar are, so let your gestures and facial expressions do as much of the work for you as possible.

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